1 more day to leave this roller coster of Year 2020. How much me, and i bet, most of my peers looking forwards for this year since we were kid. Somehow Allah know best. I believe it. Somehow we are looking for a direction, but Allah give us in a different way.. May we found the hidden massages Allah sent us. May we prepared ourself for more challange to face ahead.. As for me.. Losing my abah is the most unprepared event that ever happened to me in my life and i don't even know how to cope with it till now.. people might wonder what keep me longing for this so long.. I am not clingy like that to begin with.. Somehow, when you see your soul drained,helpless and nothing ever be the same.. It hurts a lot. When you see yourself being useless and nothing you can do to make it right.. Its the worst. This is not how i picture myself to be.. But somehow i am glad knowing that Allah know best..l am glad to know that i am nothing without Allah's blessing.. May Allah be kind to me and my